70s Mania

I’m starting to think that Marion might be just a little too obsessed with the 70s for her own good. Don’t get me wrong – I understand that it’s her ‘thing’, and I’m not trying to take that away from her. I’m perfectly happy for her to go retro til the cows come home in her own space and time. But now this influence is starting to sneak into the office, and I’m not sure the clients altogether appreciate it.

You see, Marion is hell-bent on the authenticity of her retro finds, painstakingly grouping them by year of manufacturer and fleshing them out with all the trimmings. The result is a feeling of having entered a hyper-real time warp, which I guess is her intention. That might work fine in her home, since she’s the only one who has to put up with it, but it doesn’t work in a professional environment. 

For example, when she said she’d organised a kitchen remodel, we all thought she meant an upgrade to a more accessible sink and the latest dishwasher. Alas, what we’ve been saddled with is a loud, lavender and spruce tiled monstrosity complete with too-small benchtops and a completely unnecessary shag carpet. 

This has got me really worried about her proposed bathroom renovation project. Melbourne might be on the pulse of interior design trends, but I don’t think we’re ready for musk pink toilet suites with, dare I say it, matching shag pile covers. I’ll say it again: what about the clients? They use these facilities too, and they should be aesthetically in alignment with what we do. Given that we’re a commercial law firm, I feel it’s safe to say that ‘being groovy’ isn’t exactly in our mission statement. 

Look, we could re-brand – style ourselves as the grooviest law firm this side of… I don’t know, The Brandy Bunch. I realise that The Brandy Bunch wasn’t a law firm, by the way.