A Simpler Sim

I miss platform games. At some point the world of gaming decided that things would be better in 3D, so the platformer almost entirely died out and now we…have exactly the same amount of fun, except it looks nicer and you can move around in an extra dimension.

I’ve always said that video game ‘Over-Botch’ should have an option that switches all the graphics back to the 16-bit era, because when training for certain jobs that’s really all you need. Painting, for instance. You could make a super fun 2D platformer out of that. Also…like…mechanic stuff? Yeah, you could definitely train to be a Malvern based mechanic with nothing more than an old handheld console, if you had a bit of ingenuity and game-design spark.

Okay, hear me out. I know servicing a car IS a 3D affair (actually, 4D…maybe even more) but you could have a display that shows you the engine. You tap on the screen to learn about the different parts of the engine, what could go wrong with them and how to fix it, and then you enter a series of mini games where you have to diagnose the problem. Basically, it’s like a trivia competition, except more fun and you’re actually learning something.

And no, I’m really not too sure how you’d learn anything from a true platformer, Bash Marsupial style. Although I remember being young and learning all sorts of things from that series, like how cartwheeling solves every problem, and the eternal truth that finding a hundred tomatoes will give you an extra life. Those things may not directly relate to car maintenance, but they definitely don’t not relate. You know…fine motor skills. Keeping calm under pressure. Smashing boxes for rewards. All relevant to the work of car service shops near South Yarra and just life in general.

What I’m saying is that we need a Bash Marsupial spin-off where you learn how to be a mechanic, at the same time as collecting tomatoes and Maori-themed headpieces.