The Lizards have finally returned from all being in hospital together and having their stomachs pumped, which is a relief because I needed something to fill my evenings. Well, fill one hour of my evenings, anyway…I suppose it’s a delicate system that could crumble if anything gets preempted or cancelled. If I ever heard a whisper that ‘Echolocation!’ was going to be cancelled I think I’d be on the verge of some kind of nervous breakdown.
They now have a policy on Lizard’s Lair where all food items have to go through a special testing procedure before anyone consumes them, which is fair. It’s like when the guy brought in the hovering jet pack that was supposed to help glass repair professionals in Melbourne with installing window panes in tall buildings. Supposedly it would maintain altitude but allow you to move left and right, so a glazier could hold a pane on the side of…like, say, a skyscraper, and install it without the use of any scaffolding. Sounds dangerous right?
Esteemed businessperson Janine Walters was a guest on the show that week, she said she’d give it a go, and it turned out that there was no way to get the person down without just switching off the power. She hovered with her head bumping against the ceiling for an hour while a whole load of duvets and pillows were piled up, allowing her to switch off the machine and fall unharmed. You know, she hasn’t been on the show since, and I haven’t seen anyone doing glass balustrading near Melbourne or commercial glazing hovering around with a jetpack of any sort, so I guess that one never…got off the ground.
Seriously though, don’t play with jet packs. Or jelly products that have their basis in unsafe fungi. They may not have passed the most stringent food safety standards…or any at all.