Shocking Issues

When I was a kid, I used to play this video game called ‘I’m Famous’, where your character had the superpower to control electricity. Most of the time you would be riding along the power lines, blowing up petrol stations, or throwing lightning grenades at your enemies. They were all great and memorable moments, but my favourite part of the whole game was when you got to go into the sewers.

In the city of the game, all of the power had been shut off, and it was your job to turn it back on by going underground. They were really interesting missions, because your character wasn’t able to touch water, or he would be severely injured. There’s just something appealing to me about going underground and getting the job done all on your own. I wish I could do that, instead of wondering what to do about a blocked sewer around Melbourne. Coal, the main character, was the kind of guy who got issues fixed on his own.

When I have plumbing issues, I can’t just open up the closest manhole and jump down, delivering a devastating blast of electricity to the issue, freeing up the sewage flow. Nope, I have to find the closest drainage contractors to me and get them to do the job. It’s a lot less exciting, that’s for sure. I wonder if the plumbers could deal with the other issues throughout ‘I’m Famous’ as well as Coal does. Something tells me they might struggle to save a whole train of people from raging anarchists with an addiction to drinking mind control tar and hijacking busses. But hey, I’m happy for them to give it a shot if the issue ever comes up. They’ll be the first people I call. And if they refuse for some reason, I guess I’ll just try to develop superpowers and do it myself. Not that I’d be complaining.