What a Boar

I’m nothing special. In fact…I’m a bit of a boar.

I expect the spell to wear off in the next couple of hours, but for now, I just need to sit here thinking about where that magical duel went wrong. I may also plot my revenge, depending on how long it takes the transfiguration enchantment to wear off. 

I know where it went wrong: he feinted left, I was fooled, and he hit me with the spell of boar transformation, or trans-boar-mation. I was just so angry, which didn’t help! We were drinking together, talking about the strange habits of this realm, when I brought up that I was thinking of getting a car. Mechanics open in Mornington seem terribly nice and available, and I do so miss my personal transport dragon. Occasionally I did catch the public flying carpet to meetings, but only when my dragon was getting serviced by the Dwarven forges of Mount Blaze-Beard. I’m SO tired of taking buses and trains, and I think I could pass a driving test. It’s just studying and learning to apply an advanced art, which I’ve already done with my fourteen years at the Academy of Advanced Potions and Arithmancy. How hard could driving a car truly be?

Of course, Andronicus was cross because he hates his banishment and everything about it. The thought of a wizard going to see a mechanic and getting a tyre service done, or some such thing, is abhorrent to him. He just can’t adapt; too stubborn. Typical of a former magister of the earthen magics, but as I keep saying… “Andronicus, had you not collapsed the King’s Autumn palace into a gigantic stink-hole while trying to carve him a lap pool, you wouldn’t be here!”

A stink-hole is like a sinkhole, except underneath is a foul bog. That one is on the king, for building his Autumn palace so near the Swamp of Troll Toiletry.

Anyway, one thing led to another, we picked a place to duel…and now I’m a terrible boar. All because I quite liked the idea of visiting a Mornington auto electrical specialist, like a normal person. 

I will make him see sense! For now…just gonna keep being literal swine.

-Caractacus the Canny